George Bush Is Not Good At Public Speaking

Perhaps I’m just now mature enough to notice it, but have political figures always been so bewildering and irrational? Jumping from one irrelevant subject to the next to try and cover their incompetency? It feels like a perfect complement to the quality of overall broadcasting all together. Snookie on Jersey Shore is the new G dub.

George junior has stammered back into the public eye, ya know, to impart some insightful criticism or perhaps to offer some sort of explanation of his administration. Correction: There is a book, people. Now en route on the publicity circuit, we’re getting reacquainted with this spectacle of a man.

I was anticipating the interview with Matt Lauer because I noticed his public image was starting to catch favorable empathy as a direct result. There’s even a billboard on 35 shouting, “Miss me yet?” with his face conspicuously plastered. I was thinking, what could this guy possibly have said during this interview to make people forget? Nothing… actually, less than nothing.

Wouldn’t incumbents of the White House be able to afford decent publicity reps? Isn’t there someone that could manage this mess? Let’s start with not giving verbatim speeches and answers to every location. He’s had this chronic tendency throughout his public presence resulting in tumultuous reactions. How does someone ignore past consequences and continue to fail? He talks about his family, Laura, his mother and the fetus, and his dog. Bush makes sure to emphasize that even the former president picks up dog poop.

Bush’s apparent strategy is to babble about pointless things, draw unnecessary emotion during irrelevant topics, and project responsibility to anyone else possible. He never took blame unless it was worldly impossible otherwise, like the picture of him looking at New Orleans outside of his plane. He took blame for that, because Rumsfeld luckily wasn’t in the plane to take responsibility. He blamed the intelligence team, he blamed the local governments, and he blamed the media. This tactic might work for a one-time deal, but to relentlessly persist is insulting to viewers. Other things that would cause him to fail speech class:

- His body language is too strong, like he's above those he's speaking to

- He laughs at his own jokes

- Overuse of keywords, and talking in circles. ("The American people do not want terrorism. If they don't want terrorism, they have to give other things up so that they can have what they want. If not, they wouldn't want what they want.")

- He appears angry when asked questions ("Don't you want to get rid of terrorism?!")

He closed the interview assuring the public he doesn’t lose sleep over his popularity, or lack thereof. He doesn’t care if his decisions are unfavorable; he is here for America, not you. Someone should have told him not to go this route, to avoid those words. He was the representation of our opinion, of our agenda, yet someone who has no regard toward that aspect. He didn’t hide his intentions for money when he came to campus and spoke, and asked who would be surprised by that? People clapped and clamored and yelled “USA!” I suppose the average citizen wouldn’t be out of line to proceed with the incentive of money, but his entire legacy is built around his stride for monetary wealth, even if it means going to war. Professing this motive at this single time is a small window to his entire MO. I have hope that most of America hasn’t forgotten his corruption. Maybe it’s just my immediate surroundings that are reflective of optimistic hopes for Bush, and if that’s the case, I’m moving…ASAP.

Sumptuous Spam for the Swanky Show-Boaters

Crisis struck Carnival. The well-known cruise line had a mishap when the engine room fell victim to a fire, damaging the switchboard that generates electricity throughout the ship, including the propulsion motors. The massive ship carrying more than 4,000 people was left wafting helplessly in the middle of the Pacific. I bet the heads of the PR team were spinning.

Besides relentless and original puns (the poor ship had to be named Splendor), the media has flooded with reports of irate passengers. While they have every right to grind their gears, the complaining is getting a little ridiculous. There were even pictures of people with t-shirts that read “Next Stop, Daily Show.” Obnoxious. I understand the passengers were expecting a splendid vacation (see. I’m one of them now) and wound up in mayhem: No electricity, limited toilets, and a mass of people that probably smell, but couldn’t there be worse situations to be stranded? You’re on a cruise, with the people you love, on an ocean, with a…questionable…food supply, but a food supply nonetheless! Not to mention a casino open for the taking, and the cruise line is offering full refunds and reimbursements of travel costs (including free hotel and flights), plus a free cruise in the future.

The PR for Carnival is doing impressively well, contacting the media in a timely manner, not projecting any of the blame to anyone else, staying hip with Facebook and Twitter as a “push” medium. Any “pull” information Carnival receives at this point in time will be formerly established grievances.

The cause of the fire is still unreported, leaving everyone wondering if it was negligence or freak accident. These things happen, and you must be prepared. The fault obviously lies on the design engineers, as every operational detail should not rest on a single electrical board. Seeing as we’re beyond that, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it now, we must focus on the PR. I congratulate their efforts and calming manner. Some criticize for not showing enough empathy, rather too many facts, and I couldn’t disagree more; offering too much empathy risks vulnerability to mass slander. In fact, they’re executing the route publicists should be taking so we can finally steer away from a negative connotation. We don’t spin, we present facts and Carnival has honored that.

Nostaligia for the Physical World

As an impressionable student preparing to thrust myself into the scary world of professionalism, I find the timing of my transformation somewhat interesting. Publicists are raving about the perks and benefits this progressive technological era has bestowed upon us, and undoubtedly there is a silver lining to be seen. Twitter, blogs, other social media and online newsrooms are more prominent and accessible than ever, allowing us to be lazier—as pejorative as that may seem—and more expansive. The American Dream right? It’s simple cost-benefit analysis.

Sadly, I cannot ignore my compulsion to seek out the underlying cynicism in things; there seems to be a hesitant suspicion rising in the pith of my optimism. We are standing on the frontier of this amazing technology advancement, at an inconvenient age. We’re not growing up with these innovations embedded in our green field of knowledge, like the astounding elementary virtuosos replacing cursive writing with iPods; and we don’t really have time to learn the basic fundamentals that perfected the art of publicity in ancient times of yore. There’s no time for prodigal lectures over the form of networking and personal relationships, or the other grinds of former (respectable) ways of the field. Social media is the future, and we’re riding that wave hard. While that’s cute and interesting, there has to be subsequent effects to our society and their interpersonal relationships. The information age has drawn an ironic social paradox: We’re clearly more globally connected, but undeniably becoming more isolated.

Shamelessly, I have no problem admitting the vision-blurring fear I have of talking in front of people, or on the phone. While this is confusing for some, it’s beyond confounding for me that this is even an issue. I used to have no problem approaching anyone, anytime, and making an instant connection. I could stand in front of a crowd with ease and speak fluidly about whatever need be. Phone conversations were of second nature, at 14 I figured out how to get incoming calls at red-eye hours without waking up my parents (MovieFone for hours + call waiting= no ringing). Suddenly, about three years ago, I’m unrecognizable to me. Public speaking has caused me to black out, I avoid phone calls like gas station bathrooms, and my confidence is partially subsiding. Concurrently, my texting skills are superior, I feel like Twitter is my new pet, and I put the art of e-mailing into submission. I get it…it’s ironic that I’m in PR and have these weird phobias. But trust me, this is a newfound thing. Are the rippling tides of modern media swelling into a wave gone rogue?

If it only took about three years for a stubborn, haughty, secure woman (ehh, or girl) to lose her bearings, what are these children going to grow up like? What is the future of PR? Will commentary be through text? Will interviews be conducted through Facebook chat? Are bosses going to promote and terminate people over Twitter? Our interpersonal relationships have been beaten against the wall. There are definitely studies showing increased in engagement through new classroom lessons over social media, but who’s surprised? This is a tool we use(d) recreationally, outside of the classroom. It’s as though we’re teaching the theory of Family Guy, or "strategic party demeanor"…ooh man, did I strike gold?

Fumbling with a glass of wine and words on the tip of my tongue, I found myself conversing with a stranger at a jazz bar. She is a communications major, something that always raised my ears; perhaps because I have no idea what lies in the future of a communications major, as painfully obvious as it may sound. She plans to pursue PR. Whaaat? Hey, no, that’s mine and you can’t just come around here pirating that from me! I picked her brain about what she studies. Apparently, it’s the other pole end of my profession. She learns how to speak to authority, how to finagle her words into getting what she wants, how to speak to media and large crowds…I stood there mouth gaping. I was so jealous! Maybe it would have been more conducive to study communications rather than PR…...no…. I renounce that! I love writing, and I undyingly appreciate the things I’ve learned in the journalism department. My inner snob is on her knees in desperate hopes that this department retains its distinguished identity, and doesn’t fall victim to the oppressive social media…producing a line of muted, oblivious, isolated texting prodigies.